I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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