Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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