I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
