i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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