im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
