Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
