Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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