dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
