she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
