so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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