i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
