i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
