walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
