I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
