I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
