I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
