just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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