I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
they're like a gay fantastic four
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
