I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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