She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
