So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Randomize
