there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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