just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
