I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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