do herpes really smell.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
