I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
