Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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