No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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