How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
