I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
nutella sex= disaster
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
