I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
