Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
