If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
3 2 1 whiskey
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
