More tranny stories later!
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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