I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
