My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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