And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
you made out with another girl for some wings
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
