Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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