If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
wow bdsm is so cute
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
