Pregnant stripper...not hot.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
