So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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