He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Why is there bacon in the couch?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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