erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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