So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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