If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
