He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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