no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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