Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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