Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
