ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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