I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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